


Conversations

by Han502653



Series: A Hunter Family [5]
Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: I feel like everyone involved in the Chimera mess came out of it feeling guilty of some kind, M/M, a little angsty, but mostly hopeful
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-21
Updated: 2018-06-21
Packaged: 2019-05-26 14:25:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15002765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Han502653/pseuds/Han502653
Summary: Knov and Morel have been Partners for years. They are there to help each other and to call each other out on their shit.Or:A couple of conversations between Morel and Knov throughout the end of the Chimera arc.





	Conversations

Morel knew something was wrong as soon as Knov entered his En. Mostly through the fact he _did_. He should have been In Zetsu. But instead he faded in and out sporadically and was down on the ground and barely moving instead of teleporting here and there and at least on a roof. Relief didn’t even hit him at his return as he turned into an alley to follow the shaky signature.

He found him heavily leaning against one wall and shaking as he stumbled forward in the vague direction of the apartment. One look at his face and Morel almost dropped his pipe—only years of combat and training kept it steady as he strode forward and pulled Knov into his arms.

Knov shook there—blinking blearily as if only just noticing Morel presence and barely at that. His Zetsu was a mess—he’d fall into it only to blink out of it like it stung. Morel glanced around to see if they’ve been spotted—it was a miracle Knov had managed this far.

Knov slowly leaned forward until his forehead rested on Morel’s chest—seemingly to finally recognize who he was if not relaxing in the slightest. “I-I can’t…I-I can’t…” he muttered eyes unfocused and unseeing.

Morel’s stomach dropped—he had never, _never_ seen Knov like this. With one last look he pulled him up and held him like a toddler before dashing up to the roofs and b-lining to the nearest mark he knew. He had to get him out of here—he was a beacon of constantly fluctuating Nen.

Finding the place he put Knov down—or tried to. He’d grabbed his shirt and his breath was starting to shorten as he stared around startled. Morel grimaced—seventeen years with Shoot meant he knew what the onset of a panic attack looked like—but they needed to get out of here.

“Knov,” He started, one hand on his shoulder in what he hoped was a grounding move. Knov started and looked at him—seemed to see him if barely. “I need you to open your door—we have to go before we’re spotted.”

Knov stared at him—breath still short—for a long moment and then around their location. His eyes eventually fell where Morel remembered the mark to be and he nodded shakily. “L-leave—y-yes leave is good.”

With that the door opened—unsteady in a way Morel couldn’t remember it _ever_ being—and Knov stumbled right through. Morel followed on his heel and nearly tripped over him as he suddenly collapsed onto his knees, his hands clutching at his hair, what was left of his composure failing with the safety of the room as the door closed and he let out a pained mewling sound.

Morel dropped to his knees instantly, pipe clanking beside him and his hands hovered at Knov’s shoulders. He didn’t know what to do—he’d never seen this before—not with Shoot or with anyone. “Knov…”

“I-I-I did it but—how could they—En so strong—I tried—but I-I-I can’t,” his last word cracked in pain as he collapsed more fully onto himself. His breath puffed out of him in pants—falling into a full panic attack and at least that Morel knew how to deal with.

Sliding behind him Morel gently took ahold of his arms and untangled them away from his hair trying to lead him into leaning back into his chest. He hadn’t done this in years—not since before Shoot had been a Hunter—but he still remembered it instinctively. “Knov you need to breathe,” he hummed gently to his ear as Knov stared unseeingly ahead. “Breathe with me. In—and—out.”

Soothingly he urged Knov to calm until Knov’s breathes were matching his and he could feel from his gentle grasp of his wrists that his pulse was calming as well. Knov still shook though and his eyes still stared unseeingly into space and Morel had never felt more helpless.

“What happened,” he finally asked after as much time as passed as he could spare—eventually he needed to return—to supervise the troopers and inform everyone else what was happening. Knov said nothing for a long moment, and then he tilted his head only slightly to look at Morel behind him. “I-I did it…the marks are set,” he started his voice wavering. “B-but his En…I…I can’t go back there Morel I can’t!” His eyes closed in anguish, a stray tear leaking out as his shakes grew and Morel pulled him in tighter, resting his chin on his head. He could wait a little while more.

“Okay,” he mumbled as soothing as he could. “Okay.”

 

He didn’t want to leave him. He was still shaking—still seeing something Morel couldn’t—wouldn’t get up and go into the bed this room had no matter Morel’s urges. The best he could do was slip his tie and jacket off—unbutton a few of his shirt buttons and roll up his sleeves—making sure he had his phone right next to him and a promise to open the door again when Morel called.

He hoped he had enough sense to do so—the idea of him trapped in his own Nen was terrifying.

He hadn’t been able to really get any more details out of him. He knew the location of the marks and that the trucks that should have housed the girls had arrived—something that frightened Knov more than anything. Everything else was just a guess based on stuttered and random comments, but he was pretty sure he’d managed to piece together what had happened.

Despite his fear Knov had managed to get himself all the way to the staircase to the second floor. He’d been right, whatever had happened it hadn’t been a trap—but nonetheless he’d been caught at the edge of what Morel was cautiously hypothesizing was Pouf’s En—smaller than Pitou’s but far more concentrated—while in full Zetsu. He’d managed to finish the mark and flee but only just.

Facing En so full of bloodlust as these creatures were innately while in full Zetsu was not far off from a non-Nen user being blasted by bloodlust—Morel couldn’t be surprised by the effects even if it made everything much harder. He’d have to watch the city on his own— Knov couldn’t even bring himself to use Zetsu at the moment— and he would have to take Pouf alone as well afterwards.

He couldn’t blame Knov though—never.

Especially when the effects could have been much worse—or he could have been _caught_.

As soon as he could get away he called Knov and another shaky door opened instantly. Frowning Morel walked in to find Knov exactly where he had left him and hour and a half ago—shaking and all, though he managed to glance up at him and seemed to see him better than before.

His heart panged as he sat next to his long time friend—and when a careful touch of the shoulder didn’t bother him, threw and arm around him and pulled him close.

“I’m sorry,” Knov muttered as he shook into his side.

“Don’t be—you did what you needed to do.”

“But—you—alone.”

“I’ll be fine. It’s fine.”

Knov laughed somewhat hysterically at that and Morel winced. _Not_ the right thing to say then. He then turned to press his face into Morel’s chest and Morel moved his grip to let him until he was all but sitting on his lap.

They sat like that for as long as Morel could spare—and just a bit longer.

 

“I’m going to kill that kid,” Morel muttered as he flashed one last middle finger before Knov all but pulled him away.

“No, you’re not,” Knov shook his head. “Netero got the king to the location – The plan worked.”

“He didn’t _know_ that,” Morel hissed.

Knov sighed. “No, he didn’t,” he admitted.

“Softhearted idiot—we almost _had_ him.”

“ _Did_ you—or would you all been dead before Potclean could even finish if Knuckle had refused,” Knov refuted tiredly.

“Knuckle can’t get hurt until he’s paid back his interest,” Morel tried.

“Fine then—or stuck in a loop running away and getting hit until his stamina failed him or his Nen ran out while everyone else he cared for was already dead,” Knov corrected dryly. “Or even if Knuckle _did_ manage to avoid him fully until time—those things are beyond monsters—even without Nen I’m not convinced any of you would have the strength left to defeat him if any of you were even alive at that point—and once Knuckle was unconscious—or _dead_ Toritaten would abort anyway. If nothing else his choice means all three of you are still _alive._ ”

Knov could feel some of the fight drain out of Morel and smiled grimly. He wasn’t surprised—he’d talk about killing his students until he was hoarse but the idea of them a _ctually_ dying—that was a different story.

“He’s still an idiot—”Morel muttered. “He didn’t make his decision based on any logic.”

“No, he did it because he wanted to keep you alive,” Knov agreed and he paused to open the portal. “And considering the overall situation I’m rather thankful for that. With any luck Youpi will run straight into a wall of radiation and die with his king.”

Morel grunted—but Knov could sense more fight had left him and he was grasping for what was left. “Do you really think…”Morel trailed off as he caught sight of the operation table and Shoot’s broken form. Knov tugged him away as best he could.

With that all the fight Morel had was gone.

“Like I said—they are _beyond_ monsters,” Knov muttered as he led him aside. A few nurses noticed them and quickly began gathering supplies.

Morel was quiet for a long moment. Finally he muttered, as Knov set him down and nurses split from where they were tending Shoot to him, “you’re shaking.”

Knov almost didn’t respond—but as he pulled away Morel’s hand found his and squeezed once and he found himself slumping down next to him. “I’m—like I said—I don’t think I could make myself go back again—not until…” his voice cracked and he struggled to keep from curling over.

Morel’s hand was still holding his wrist lightly even as the nurses cut off his shirt to get to his back. He ignored them. “You came.”

Knov closed his eyes. Morel was gently rubbing his thumb up and down the top of his wrist. It was the best he could do while being treated. “I almost didn’t,” he admitted.

“You still did despite that. Twice.” Morel’s voice was low. “You saved Shoot.”

“And you—but… I can’t, not again—they’re on their own now.” Knov closed his eyes and slumped forward into his knees. He was shaking—had been shaking and the strength he’d managed to pull together was unraveling. Meleoron and Ikalgo—Gon and Killua— _Knuckle_ were on their own now. “I’m sorry.”

The grip tightened momentarily. “Don’t be – _trust_ them – they’ll be okay.”

 

“Got you a gift.”

Knov looked over at Morel lying gingerly in his bed. The lights were dimmed considerably to spare his eyes that were for once not covered in shades—so he wasn’t entirely sure what he was holding in his better hand. “When did you manage that—you’ve been awake for barely two hours?”

Morel just grinned, happy to leave that as a mystery.

Knov rolled his eyes and reached over so Morel wouldn’t have to strain his shoulders to hand it to him –his back likely hurt enough already. He examined the orange flat-cap in his hands for a long moment, before glancing over to Morel with a raised eyebrow.

Morel grinned wider. “Bet you won’t wear it.” He teased.

Knov considered that, and with a slight quirk of his lips he pulled it on. “Already lost.”

Morel huffed out a laugh that looked rather painful. “You didn’t name a price.”

Knov shrugged and leaned back into his chair. The room fell into an easy quiet and he allowed himself to drift—listening to the heart monitors steady beat.

“What did we do, Knov?”

Knov blinked away his daze and turned to quirk an eyebrow at Morel who wasn’t looking at him. Where had that come from? “What?”

Morel’s lips were thin as he considered the ceiling.

“They’re kids, and now one of them is dying and the other is suffering from a broken heart and I would have never expected or allowed Shoot or Knuckle to do any of this at their age… they’re barely older than Shoot was when I took him on, _younger_ than Knuckle, just… why did I allow them.”

“They are Hunters.”

“ _So_ , does that really _change_ anything?”

“…no.”

It didn’t, not really. They might have had been physically capable and talented enough to get their license but in reality they still had the mind of kids and lack of experience as well. They shouldn’t have been allowed into this fight no matter how upset over Kite they had been—no matter Killua had probably survived with the least—physical—injuries. No matter that thanks to Preston it had been all but necessary to have any hope for success –it still _shouldn’t_ have happened.

And he was one of the adults who had let it happen—without even considering. He’d worried about their experience, drive, ability –but never about _should_ they _despite_ that.

The conservation with Killua flashed through his head and he leaned back—rubbing at his eyes with a humorless and tired laugh. Morel shifted beside him.

“Aren’t we a bunch of idiots – after all our talk one of us overthought a situation and the other couldn’t handle their En. Karma indeed.”

“Bit of a different situation with you,” Morel defended. “You were in Zetsu—it was a different En—”

“And they are thirteen at most,” Knov declared tiredly from under the silly cap Morel had given him. “And they _still_ went back to fight.”

Morel reached for his other hand – the best he could do while all but confined to a bed. “And you did too—twice—at personal cost.”

“Hair isn’t much cost.”

“I’m not talking about the hair.”

Knov dropped his hand and clung with the other—ignored that it was shaking again— to stare at the ceiling himself. “I… I had to try. I was watching the battle—I knew people were getting hurt.” He closed his eyes. “Knew you were alone—if I could just get you—or your boys…”

For once Morel didn’t argue that slip of the tongue. Instead he squeezed his hand. “And you did—both of them are okay.” The relief in his voice was palpable. He’d only just gotten word that Shoot would survive if have a long road to recover use of his leg—only just seen Knuckle who had slunk in briefly washed and dressed and mostly unharmed if looking pale and miserable—before he’d gone to crash in Shoot’s room.

“But not them.”

Morel sighed lowly. “No—but now we do everything we can to help them.”

**Author's Note:**

> I know it's a shonen anime and all but I like playing with it a bit more real--and in reality the adults involved would (or should) feel guilty about dragging two thirteen years old into full out war, no matter how angry they were or capable, and guilty one of them almost died as well-or dying as the case is here.


End file.
